


If It's Love

by brokenhighways



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Cynical, M/M, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-28
Updated: 2012-02-28
Packaged: 2017-10-31 20:34:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Jensen is a cynical hairdresser who doesn't do commitment. His life changes when one day he snaps and ends up losing his job. It doesn’t faze him though because as long as he has his best friend Jared in his life, he doesn't really mind what life throws at him. However, this leads to him wondering what he wants in life. Little does he know that the answer is staring him in the face, even if he can't see it at first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If It's Love

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: I know nothing about being a model, lol. This is for ace_p, who wanted snarky, hairdresser Jensen. Title is from the Train song of the same name. Banner is by kiersam. All remaining mistakes are my own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The worst thing about being a hairdresser to mostly upper-class customers is the conversation. Jensen has to endure middle-aged ladies bitching about their children and husbands and in some cases, an in-depth discussion of their gardeners and house help. And then when the daughters came in, he’d have to endure tedious bitching about parents, boyfriends and whatever high school drama was unfolding in their tiny brains. He probably wouldn’t mind so much if they actually spoke to  _him_  instead of treating him like he was some sort of leper, but such was life. It pissed him off to have to deal with people who saw him as being an additional member of their staff instead of the actual professional he was. In fact he was pretty sure that he’d dreamt about Tabatha from  _Tabatha Takes Over_  turning up and putting the owners in their place.

After three years of working at this place it’s not surprising that he’s the one who ends up getting fired after getting into a heated debate with one testy customer. So maybe he shouldn’t have maliciously dyed Mrs. Havisham’s (or hell whatever her real name was) hair a bright shade of pink when she’d only asked him to do her roots. Maybe he shouldn’t have dumped a bowl of cold water all over her head (and subsequently her copy of People – who knew that rich people read  _trash?_ ) but she’d been asking for it. Unfortunately, three years of tolerance hadn’t meant shit to his boss and she’d handed him his P45 and thrown him out so fast that he’d still been in his work clothes.

So here he is, two months later, lounging around on his best friends couch. It's ironic, because he and Jared are on completely different ends of the spectrum in terms of personality and lifestyle. He’s quiet and reserved while Jared is loud and outgoing. Jared makes more in a week than he does in a year but somehow he manages to stay down-to-earth. Hell, he puts up with Jensen's bitching and that's no easy feat. Then again, Jared's away a lot of the time. Prague, Milan, Paris, London .It’s one of the perks of being an in-demand model. Or, well, also the downside, seeing as how Jared is away from home so often. Not that his stylists ever got Jared's hair right. It was an on-going argument between them. Jensen would bitch about his now ex-employer and Jared would just laugh and tell Jensen to come and work for him. Jensen would decline and they'd move on.

It was funny, though, how things changed. He was barely scraping by enough to afford his rent, hence why he was at Jared's avoiding his landlord. As he flips through the different TV stations, the door bangs shut and Jared's laugh filters through to the living room. As does the voice of the person accompanying him. Jensen feels himself start to flush when he realises that Jared's probably hooking up with someone right now. Trent or Tim, whatever the latest boyfriend is called. Jensen considers leaving through the kitchen door but something flashes inside him at the thought of someone else being with Jared and he remains seated. Eventually the door opens and slams again and Jared comes strolling into the living room and jumps over the back of the couch, landing on Jensen.

  


"Ugh, get off me," Jensen says as he pushes at Jared's arm. "You smell like a bar". He refrains from saying that he secretly enjoys Jared's weight pressing down on him. That's a whole other story.

"Your landlord called, I stopped by and paid him off," Jared says and Jensen freezes. Jared must feel it because he moves off of Jensen and sits down across from him. "I also told him that you wouldn't be coming back there -- and before you fly into a fit of rage, you spend all of your time here anyway".

"You...didn't have to do that," Jensen says slowly because he's annoyed, of course he is. He and Jared have had several situations like this and each time he ends up feeling like an ungrateful jerk. Because he doesn't want to be that guy, the one who leeches off of his friends instead of working hard for himself. And he knows that Jared understands this but sometimes his friend is just too nice for his own good. It's not the first time he's helped Jensen out and it won't be the last, he knows that Jared won't ever hold it against him.

"I do have one favour to ask of you, though," Jared says and Jensen frowns.

Maybe he's spoken too soon.

~.~.~

It’s later when he’s talking to Danneel in Starbucks when he realises that Jared didn’t actually ask his favour. He shrugs it off just as Danneel says,

“Wait, so you’re moving in with him?”  
Jensen blinks at her because he doesn’t really see what the big deal is. They’re best friends who help each other out. Simple.

“It doesn’t mean anything,” he says with a shrug and Danneel just sighs. She’s been trying to push the two of them together for years now, much to Jensen’s chagrin. He makes a point not to think of Jared in that way just so they don’t screw things up. That, and he prefers casual flings anyhow. Jared’s more of a relationship guy.

“Besides, he has that boyfriend, Tim or something,” he says as he takes a sip of his coffee and gazes absently out of the window. He barely refrains from telling her to fucking drop the subject already. He’s tired of people expecting him to talk about Jared all the freaking time.

“I just think that maybe you should be honest with yourself or let Jared go,” Danneel says, and Jensen swivels his head back around so that he’s facing her.

“What do you mean by that?” he asks, because he and Jared have been friends for a really long time, way back to when they were in college. Hell, he’d been in a hair design course when Jared had been discovered and Jensen always made sure to tell Jared that no, Jensen wasn’t the man behind his success. He didn’t believe in coincidences and Jared had gotten his break all on his own.

“Look, I know that you’re friends and all but you don’t date, you drop everything every time he gets back, and now you’ve moved in with him, I mean…I think you should just try living without him for a while until you figure stuff out”.  
“Figure what out?” Jensen asks, “and you know why I don’t date, it’s because--”

“You’re in love with Jared,” Danneel cuts in and Jensen just stares at her, only barely remembering to put his coffee down before he squeezes it too tightly and it explodes all over the stupid designer sweater Jared got him. He doesn’t even know why he wears any of the stupid things Jared brings home for him. It always makes him feel like he’s wearing one of his monthly checks instead because for all he knows they could each cost $500. Yet he wears everything Jared brings him at least once. Jensen doesn’t make snide remarks about Jared’s job even though he secretly detests it. Nor does he even judge Jared on the obviously staged paparazzi photos that appear in stupid trashy magazines like  _US Weekly, People_ and that whole fake story in  _National Enquirer_  about Jared turning up to shoots late.

Huh.

“He’s my best friend, I tolerate him,” he says, still not convinced that Danneel is right. “I don’t do love”.

“What if I was to say that I knew something that you don’t – about Jared that is,” Danneel replies cryptically and Jensen shakes his head.

“I’d say that would be impossible,” Jensen says with a raised eyebrow, “ _But_ we’ve been best friends for  _years_ , I know a lot about the guy.”

“You turned down a chance to tour with Chris’ band, just so that Jared could have something to come back home to.” And damn, she’s pushing him hard today. Jensen sighs. He tells himself that he’ll think about this later without Danneel acting like the Spanish Inquisition and without Jared draping himself all over Jensen’s body.

He ignores the voice inside his head that’s saying that he already knows.

  


~*~

  


Jensen ends his lunch date with Danneel soon after that, annoyed at how unsettled she’s made him feel. He grabs the paper before heading over to the library and scours the job section; silently berating himself for not having the qualifications to do a job where he’d actually be  _in demand_. He comes up blank as usual and tosses the paper in the trash the second he gets home – or to Jared’s apartment, rather.  _Stupid Danneel and her meddling,_  he thinks as he calls out for Jared. They’re supposed to be going to catch a movie after dinner but it won’t be the first time that Jared’s had to rush off somewhere.

“In here.”

As Jared’s voice reaches him it’s obvious that today is not one of those days. Jared’s lying on the couch with a bag of Gummy Bears in his hand watching  _The Bachelor_  and Jensen rolls his eyes. God, he hates reality TV shows. He’d had to suffer through one once back when Jared was a judge on some “Finding the next big star” type show. All of those fucking shows were the same for him. Jensen wonders when his life turned into him doing things he would never really do  _because of Jared._

“Who was the guy from this morning?” he asks once he’s taken off his coat (and picked up Jared’s which had been lying in a heap on the floor).

“Hey,” Jared says by way of greeting when Jensen sits down on the chair across from the couch, “Oh that guy, Trent, I worked with him on my last shoot – he drove me home.”

“Hmm,” Jensen responds and Jared turns to face him with a curious look on his face.

“What? I didn’t hook up with him or anything – you know that anyway, just I was a little worried about something and he wanted to make sure I made it home okay.”

“What were you upset about?” Jensen asks as he wonders when it was that Jared had stopped confiding in him. One look at Jared’s face is all he needs to tell him Jared’s keeping something from him.

“Nothing much, I mean I was going to tell you so you can stop with that whole  _‘He’s keeping things from me’_  conversation that’s going on inside of your head.”

Jensen can’t help laughing at that because, well, that’s exactly what he’d been doing. _I just think that maybe you should be honest with yourself or let Jared go._ Danneel’s words ring in his ears and Jensen scoffs a little. He’s never going to let Jared go.

“So come on, fess up,” he says a little eagerly and Jared snorts a little. “What?”

“Just…you know, you’re a lot more obvious than you think you are. You hate my modelling, you hate the clothes I get you but you wear them anyway, the publicity, the long periods away…just most people have pulled away from me and you’re still here, I just want to say thank you.”

“That’s what friends do, Jay,” Jensen says with a nonchalant shrug, even though Jared’s words choke him up a little and he feels something bloom in his chest. “Unlike that douche Chad, I’ve got your back”.

“Yeah, well…I quit, jacked it all in”. There’s silence as Jensen takes in Jared’s words and he’s basically stunned.

“What, because I didn’t like the job?”

“Well partly, I mean I would like to see—hang out with you more,” Jared explains. “I mean, I’m 26 years old, and have been constantly working for six years instead of you know, just hanging out and kicking the shit with my buddies.”

“You didn’t do it because of me did you?” Jensen says suspiciously and Jared’s face turns red and Jensen lets out a huge sigh.

“Well, not really, I—I thought that we could do something together, now that we have time but after you’ve done that favour I you asked for.”

“And what is that, by the way?” Jensen asks, his voice a little stiff because he doesn’t want to be the reason that Jared completely screws up all the hard effort that he’s put into the job over the years and suddenly, he realises that while he’s taken an interest in how the modelling world looks on the outside, he’s never really asked Jared what it’s like  _for him_. Yet Jared always listened to him rambling about his asshole clients and customers in the store. Even Danneel told him to quit bitching eventually but Jared would just laugh and listen attentively as Jensen spoke.

It makes him feel like a total asshole and he clears his throat and says,

“Did they treat you badly or something?” He silently berates himself for never asking for specifics and merely accepting what Jared had told him.

“Of course not,” Jared says and he laughs nervously and Jensen feels his stomach fall.

  


~*~

They’re at a low key bar grabbing dinner when Jensen remembers to ask about the favour.

“Oh, right, I need a hair and possibly make up stylist for next week, my uh, team pulled out,” he pauses before looking right at Jensen and continuing, “They quit actually, just like my agent dropped me but I’m already signed up to do a shoot next week down in New York.”

“They did all of that because you quit the job?” Jensen muses and Jared just pokes at his steak idly, “You already have something else lined up don’t you?” Jared doesn’t answer and Jensen’s hit by a sudden wave of insecurity. What if Danneel is right about the two of them getting space away from each other, hell, maybe Jared’s sick of him always being in his life and space and just everything? They usually tell each other everything but right now it looks like Jared’s been keeping something from him for quite some time.

“Are you leaving me?” he asks, mentally slapping himself afterwards for sounding like some needy boyfriend but he can’t help but feel as though Jared is trying to push away from him.

“I—what?” Jared asks, frowning at him adorably and Jensen really starts to consider the fact that maybe Danneel was right because there’s a deep ache in his chest right now at the  thought of being away from Jared  _permanently_  that he’s never ever felt before. “Of course, I’m not leaving you.” He’s looking at Jensen weirdly now and Jensen blushes as he relives that last few moments of the conversation in his head.

“Do you know what my friends say about us? They think that we’re a little co-dependent,” he replies and Jared laughs, it’s loud and bright and happiness blooms in Jensen’s chest at the realisation that he made Jared laugh like that. If he didn’t want to get this out there, he’d happily derail the conversation in favour of making Jared laugh.

“I suppose that we are, I mean it’s always been me and you, not even Chad or Chris stuck around with us in the end,” Jared says with a small smile and Jensen finds himself promising to maim Chad once he gets his hands on him. He and Jared had a huge blow up just before Chad had moved out of state and Jared hadn’t heard from him since.

“Ever wonder why that is?” Jensen queries, “I mean, you’re a loud, messy, giant slob but I put up with you and I’m an uptight, overly-cynical, anal retentive freak. We shouldn’t fit but we do”.

“Maybe some things are just…meant to be.”

  


~.~

They  go to the movie theater after they’re done at the restaurant, the conversation put on hold yet again by the fact that they’re trying to make the 8pm showing of  _The Vow_  which Jensen is only agreeing to watch because Channing Tatum is hot. He’s pretty sure that this movie has been made twenty times before but Jared likes this sappy crap for some reason so Jensen’s always stuck watching them.

“Wouldn’t that be awful?” Jared muses as the walk out of the theater. “If I woke up one day and didn’t remember you or, you know, vice versa.”

“Don’t say that,” Jensen says, his voice a little choked up at the thought of it. “Besides, I’m so awesome that no one could ever forget me.”

“Yeah right,” Jared says with a laugh as they stop at the traffic lights.

  


~*~

  


Jensen agrees to go to New York with Jared on the shoot and the next couple of weeks pass by in a flurry of excitement. It’s when they settle on the plane that Jensen takes out the magazine he’d bought at the airport. Jared’s dozing off beside him when he flips it open to a random page and comes face to face with a picture of Jared. It’s an article about how Jared’s leaving the fashion world for the movie business and Jensen can’t help the way his mouth falls open. Jared had insisted that he’d left so he could, quote, “finally live his life without any of the pressures and demands that came with being a model” and yet, he apparently wanted to become an actor. What else had he lied about?

When they get off the plane, Jensen’s frosty with Jared. He ignores the way that Jared looks all cute and rumpled from his sleep on the plane as they wait to collect their luggage. Jared eventually stops trying to say anything to him and shoves his earphones in and listens to his iPod as they wait for their ride. By the time they reach the hotel Jensen has simmered down a little. Maybe Jared was going to tell him but hadn’t got a chance before the magazine printed the article. They’re sharing a room at The Hilton so Jensen can see Jared tapping away at his phone furiously. The furious tapping turns into an agitated phone call and eventually Jared hangs up with a groan and flops down onto his bed.

“Okay what’s up?” Jensen asks eventually once it becomes clear that Jared isn’t going to say anything.

“Talking to me now are you?” Jared snaps. “Though, I suppose you’ve seen the article too somehow, explains why you were giving me airtime earlier on.”

“Jared—“

“No, Jensen, just no…we’re not joined at the hip and we’re not married, I don’t have to tell you anything that I don’t want to.”

Jensen opens his mouth to respond but finds that he really can’t think of anything to say because he’s too floored by Jared’s reaction to his seemingly innocent question. Before he can say anything Jared is up and gathering up his things, mumbling something about getting another room.

  


~*~

  


“…and the he just stormed out and said he was getting a room!” Jensen says as Chris huffs down the line in annoyance. Okay, so maybe Jensen could have waited until at least 6am to call him but he’d been restless and unable to sleep. “Did you even hear what I said?”

“Unfortunately, yes. I mean do you realise that I’ve been asleep for about two hours and you’re disturbing me over this? What have I said about calling me before noon?” Chris replies sleepily and Jensen rolls his eyes.

“Well this  _is_ a matter of life and death!” he protests. “Well, sort of anyway, Jared never gets mad at me, I mean…how do I fix this?”

“You could try not reading what some stupid gossip rag has printed about your supposedly closest friend for starters.”

So no sympathy from Chris either, Danneel had hung up on him midway through their conversation. Of course then she’d started emailing him various candid pictures of him and Jared together to prove some sort of point but Jensen had logged off after the first few had hit his inbox.

“Well okay, I know that now…I mean, I was just upset that he didn’t tell  _me_  first.”

“Well…why should he?”

“What?”

“You heard.”

“Well, I’m his b—his best friend, I…we tell each other everything.”

Chris snorts and Jensen sighs as he wonders what he’s said wrong this time.

“More like, you tell him stuff, he listens and he tells you what you want to hear.”

Jensen blinks as he readjusts his cell. He glances at the clock, not sure if Jared will come back in to get him. Jensen is supposed to be helping him out with the show after all, though who’s to say that Jared hasn’t found someone better by now. “And, why would he do that?” he asks, annoyed by what Chris is insinuating.

“You figure it out, man. Someone oughta knock the two of you’s heads together.”

There’s a click and again Jensen is back to square one.

  


~*~

  


It’s not that Jensen finds it hard to admit that he’s in the wrong, he’s just rarely ever in the wrong. Though he’s starting to doubt his own assessment of himself. He’s always known that he’s probably a dick most of the time, but not to the extent where his best friend is afraid to be honest with him. He admits that he sometimes gets frustrated with his own struggles in life and he tends to unload to Jared and he can get a little testy. But Jared’s never said a word about him going too far. Except for this instance.

He’s been overcome with guilt since Jared walked out and he just…doesn’t know how to put things right.  _You could apologize_ , the voice in his head supplies helpfully and Jensen shrugs to himself. Apparently he has a lot to make up for so that’s a start. Before he can get up to go and locate Jared, the door opens and Jared steps in.  He’s wearing a long sleeved black shirt and blue jeans that look well worn. His hair is damp and curled up at the ends and Jensen jumps upwards.

“Is it time for me to..?” he mimes cutting hair with a pair of scissors, face flushing when he realises what he’s just done.

Jared clears his throat and says,

“Look, I’m…sorry for going off on you like that, I didn’t mean to—”  

Suddenly Jensen is hit by a wave of memories of Jared apologising time and time again for all of Jensen’s stupid bursts of insecurities.

“No,  _I’m_ sorry” he interrupts, “I’ve been acting like a total asshole for god knows how long, hell probably since you got your first modelling gig. I’ve spent the past five years wondering when you were just going to up and leave for something better and, just…I didn’t even realise I was doing it, I mean, I’ve just been accepting your apologies like I’d deserved them when I haven’t.”

“But I should have told you about, you know, even though that magazine article exaggerated a  _lot,_ ” Jared replies and Jensen barely refrains from throwing his hands up in exasperation. For some reason he’s reminded of when Chad sent that douche text message the day after he’d moved and the look on Jared’s face. He can still remember how upset Jared had been over the whole thing and if he was that cut up over  _Chad_  (what, the guy was an asshole…even more so that Jensen was) …he quite possibly really would tell Jensen whatever he wanted to hear.

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, Jared, and I’m sorry if I made you feel otherwise, there are things that I haven’t even told you and…I pulled this ridiculous hissy fit.”

“What’s brought this on, you don’t usually say you’re sorry,” Jared says as he flips through his phone briefly. It’ll be the first time Jensen’s actually seen him at a show. It was never really his scene and he’d always stated that clearly and Jared had always accepted it. What the hell was wrong with him?

“Huh?”

“Uh, nothing,” Jared says with an adorable, confused expression on his face and  _seriously, focus Jensen!_

“Are you in love with me?” he blurts out without even thinking and Jared’s shocked eyes lock onto his, but the moment’s broken as Jared’s phone clatters to the floor. Luckily it’s not broken but Jared refuses to look anywhere near Jensen’s direction when he stretches back up.

“Show starts in an hour and I’m on at two, we have to go and get ready now,” he mumbles as he turns around to leave, leaving the door open behind him. Jensen stands there, his mind whirling around with various different thoughts and questions.

_He didn’t say no._

~*~

Twenty minutes later they’re down in the dressing room, or well, it’s more of a cubicle. This is after a good solid ten minute of Jared saying hi to, like, a hundred people or something. Jensen’s happy to see that he gets on with most people even though Jensen does spot a few people giving Jared the stink-eye once he’s gone past them and he frowns. And as he finishes combing through Jared’s hair he hears the female stylist telling a story about her friend who mistook a  _Prada_  dress or  _Versace_  or something. He doesn’t think that said friends deserves the dressing down they’re getting now (on  _numerous_  occasions).

“Just ignore it” Jared says and Jensen almost jumps at the sound of his voice. The other man has been quiet ever since their “discussion” earlier on. And to add to that his shoulders have been tense the whole time Jensen’s been doing his hair. Which, by the way, looks a lot better now than it ever has in any of Jared’s other shoots. “They’re like vultures, picking and picking away at anything that doesn’t fit their perfect ideals.”

It sounds like something  _Jensen_  would say and he snorts a little as he swivels Jared’s chair around so they’re facing each other.

“Seriously?”

Jared seems to shrink under Jensen’s scrutiny and he shrugs.

“Look, what’s going on with you man?” he asks and Jared just sighs and stands up,

“I have to go and get ready to strut my stuff,” he says sarcastically before he walks away slowly.

  


~*~

  


“…and now he’s giving me the cold shoulder…are you even listening to me?” Jensen is hanging around backstage waiting until it’s Jared’s turn to walk down the catwalk. It’s completely hectic back there, people are milling around and talking and in some cases   
  
 _yelling_. The models are running around desperately as last minute changes are made and things  _malfunction_. He doesn’t see Jared around, though, and he wonders if he should go and check on him. He starts to head for where he thinks the make-up rooms are, wondering who’s doing Jared’s make-up seeing as how he has no team. A light flashes in his eyes and he turns around with widened eyes to see a short, over-dressed photographer snapping pictures of him.

“Name and brand you’re modelling” the guy says as he taps some buttons on his camera and pulls out his cell phone.

“Uh, I’m not a model” Jensen says, “But—”

The photographer’s moved on by that point and Jensen huffs a little and he starts to resume his search for Jared.

“I told you I wasn’t, that and the fact that I’ve hung up on you 5 times now should clue you in.”

“Come on Dani, look I just, you need to help me fix this!” Jensen pleads. “Chris told me to fuck off right before he turned off his phone.”

“Whoa, whoa, you called  _Chris_  for advice?” Danneel sounds shocked and Jensen frowns as he starts to spot some of the make-up artists. “You  _must_ have been desperate!”

“Shut up,” he grumbles, “But so maybe I am desperate…I just can’t stand the thought of him being mad with me.”

“…because?”

“I’m not going to say it.”

“Well then I won’t help you.”

“Okay, because I’m…in  _love_  with him – happy?”

“Well you almost sound like you mean it.”

“I do,” he says honestly. “I do mean it.” Now all he has to do is convince Jared.

  


~*~

  


In the end, he locates Jared at the far end of the room with his friend Sandy who’s hovering over him with a giant powder brush. Jensen frowns because Jared’s basically been left with no professional assistance and yet he’s still expected to go on. If he didn’t  think that Jared would hate him for it, he’d find his good-for-nothing manager and tell him to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine. But as Jared disappears over to the changing rooms, Sandy appears by his side and Jensen can’t help the step back he takes. She may be tiny, but he’s pretty sure her bite is worse than her back.

“You’re an idiot, both of you are,” is all she says, and Jensen blinks.

“Is that it? I was expecting a black eye and at least one broken rib for upsetting your boy,” Jensen remarks sarcastically and Sandy glares at him.

“Don’t tempt me. Anyway – Jared thinks that  _I_ have something to do with your sudden realisation that there’s only one reason why you he doesn’t call you out on your…douchiness.”

“Well someone could have told me!” he says haughtily and Sandy rolls her eyes as she packs her make-up away and zips up the bag.

“We’re not here to baby you Jensen, just wait until the show is over and then you and Jared can talk about things and then have lots of make-up sex while I watch.”

“Come on,” he says as he shakes his head fondly, “let’s go get good seats, or a good area backstage or wherever.” He starts to walk in the direction of where the loud, pumping (and seriously awful) music is coming from, not really checking back to see if Sandy is following him. By the time he reaches the main backstage area he’s a little lost and he doesn’t notice the person in front of him before he bumps into them.

“Oh, sorry f—Jared, hey, I was just looking for you!” his voice sounds cheery and a little over enthusiastic and he winces inwardly. “You look…great.” The truth is that, the grey shirt Jared has on is freaking ugly, and the weirdly patterned jeans are no better. He doesn’t even bother to look at the shoes just in case they’re too horrible for him to keep quiet about it.

“Really?” Jared says.

Jensen doesn’t detect any sarcasm so he shrugs and says,

“Well the shirt looks like three people threw up all over it simultaneously before dragging it through a puddle, but it’s not too bad.”

Jared cracks a smile at that and Jensen mentally cheers in his head.

“Hey you know, I couldn’t sleep last night so I ended up Google’d some stuff on my phone and well, they can’t make you go out there like that if you’ve had no assistance beforehand.”

“Do you think  _rules_  matter in this business?” Jared says with a sigh and Jensen pulls a face at the fact that Jared now looks as miserable as he had in the first place.

“Well this ugly ass shirt must be some sort of ‘fuck you’, it’s easily the ugliest thing you’ve ever worn.”

“Wait, how do you even know that?” Jared asks just as Jensen comes up with an idea. He’s not really sure why he’s trying so hard here ( _liar_ ) but hey, what are friends for.

“Give me the ugly shirt,” he demands as he starts to yank off his hooded sweatshirt. Jared just stares at him and Jensen dumps his hoodie on a nearby chair. “Come on take it off”.

“I’ve created a monster,” Jared says as he starts to take it off.

  
~~*~*

It’s the next evening when Jensen face palms as he watches the video of him simply strolling down the catwalk with something akin to a bitchface. If looks could kill, everyone in the first two rows would be slumped over as he glares at them before jumping off the stage and walking off somewhere. He’d gotten lost on his way backstage, not that anyone needed to know that. Jared had been giggling like crazy when he’d eventually caught up with him again and even now his best friend (and…maybe more) is watching it on YouTube and laughing all over again. They’d skipped the rest of the show in the end (Jared had apparently realised that these people were taking him for a fool or whatever, either way Jensen was pleased). They’d spent the day hanging out in New York, and doing some sight-seeing. Things had been a little awkward between them at first but eventually both of them had loosened up and managed to avoid the elephant in the room and actually enjoy their day. Since then Jared had been a lot more like his usual self.

“Doesn’t the show last all week?” he asks as Jared shoves clothes into his suitcase. He seems to have cheered up a little despite the numerous phone calls from his managers and other designers. Some of them seem to be glad that Jared didn’t do the show whereas some were adamant that he’d screwed up any chances of a comeback. Jensen had pointed out that as long as Jared didn’t waste his money on strippers and coke he’d probably be okay. Jared only sighed wistfully and Jensen remembered that he didn’t really know what went on in this life. But he was determined to find out.

“Who cares?” Jared says. “I mean you’re right, I’ve quit – end of story, if they want to drag me through the mud and make up fake articles then screw ‘em”

“Fake articles?” Jensen echoes.

“Yeah, the one in that piece of trash that you read on the airplane.” There’s no real trace of anger or  _any_ emotion in Jared’s voice so Jensen can’t really tell if he’s mad or not.

“I’m sorry about that, I mean…I think I knew it wasn’t true but back in college you were interesting in drama and theater and I just assumed.”

“You do remember why I took on this modelling thing, don’t you? And maybe I’ve never really told you how much I hated it but you know the reason why I do it, and I know that you hated the whole thing too but you stood by me and for that – thank you.”

Jensen’s lost in a memory as he remembers how hard up for cash Jared had been back then. He was working three jobs just to provide for himself while he was in college and his student loan was  _crazy._ Plus his parents had been struggling to raise enough money to pay the mortgage and Jared had been beside himself with worry, so he’d called in a few favours with his supervisor on his hair design course and a scout had conveniently been present when Jared had shown up to pick Jensen up. He’d never told Jared that he’d set the whole thing up mostly because he’d wanted to guarantee that Jared wouldn’t say no.

“What’s with all of the apologies?” Jared asks as he shuts his laptop down and shoves into the case. “Is this because of…what you said about me? Because it doesn’t mean that you have to treat me like I’m some fragile teenage girl.”

“Girl?” Jensen says with an amused expression on his face.

“Shut up, you know what I mean!” Jared protests.

“Okay, anyway, I think maybe I can answer your question. I, uh, have a surprise for you”.

~*~

Sandy had helped Jensen formulate a plan eventually once he’d managed to catch up with her. She’d reminded him that today was in fact Valentine’s Day, one of the most irritating days on the calendar in Jensen’s opinion but he knew first hand that Jared loved that sappy shit. So Jensen figures that if he ever wants Jared to be his boyfriend (and man it’s been a long time since he has had once those) that he has to make the effort. He reaches over into his own suitcase and pulls out a pink envelope and hands it over to Jared, who’s not even looking in his direction so he clears his throat subtlety and Jared turns around with a questioning look in his eyes. Jensen offers the card again and Jared raises an eyebrow at him.

“I thought you hated Valentine’s Day?” he says as he rips the card open, eyes widening almost comically as he reads the four words that Jensen had written inside the card.

“Is this a joke?” Jared asks and Jensen shakes his head as he wrings his hands nervously. “Kinda?”

“I do,” Jensen says quickly as he senses that “I kinda love you” isn’t really getting his message across. “I’m in love with you.”

Jared makes a startled noise and if Jensen wasn’t freaking the fuck out right now he’d probably laugh, but he doesn’t. “Wow,” is all Jared says and Jensen decides to swiftly move on to stage two before he loses his nerve and runs out of the room screaming.  He walks over to the dining area of their suite which is closed off because they haven’t used it. He pulls the doors open to reveal a table set for two. As if on cue the lights dim and the room is only lit by the two candles on the table. The whole thing is just so fucking cheesy and cliché that Jensen tries to wince, he looks at Jared and is immediately entranced by the captivated look on his face.

“Dinner is served,” he says loudly and Jared turns to grin at him.

~*~

“What’s for dessert?” Jared says as his fork clatters onto his plate and he stretches out in his chair. He’s been animated all throughout dinner, well before that really. More like since he and Jensen shared their first kiss which was a little more awkward than Jensen would have liked due to the fact that he didn’t see it coming. So there’d been awkward clash of teeth followed by laughter. Now that the beer has given them both a little buzz he’s eager to try again. After dessert, of course. He reaches into the cold silver container on the table and pulls out a mini carton of  _Ben & Jerry_’s chocolate chip cookie dough flavoured ice cream. He has to limit Jared’s sugar intake if he’s going to get any sleep tonight.

“Yay!” Jared practically squeals in delight and Jensen hates to bring the mood down but they do need to talk about whatever this is between them.

“So…we’re doing this?” he asks and Jared gives him a shy smile.

“The way I feel about you is nothing new Jensen,” he says. “I just...it’s been a while and I can see that you do like me but it’s going to take a while to really get used to this. But it’s a chance I’m willing to take.”

And that right there is why Jensen loves him. He’s just one of those people who can always articulate themselves to Jensen and he’s taken the words out of Jensen’s mouth. Well, Jensen wouldn’t have been as eloquent as that but whatever.

“Same here,” he says, trying to convey the meaning of his words through his eyes. He thinks that Jared gets it when a smile spreads on his face.

And later, when they finally try and perfect their awkward fumbled first kiss, he knows that this thing between them is real. Jared’s lips as soft against his and he can’t help the burst of happiness that blooms in his chest as he realises just how happy he feels.

_Huh._

  


~*~

  


They fly back home at the end of the week with Sandy in tow this time so they can’t spend the entire flight making out. It does give them a chance to talk though.  Jared tells him about what being a model was like from an insider’s point of view and Jensen is shocked to hear how stressful it all sounds. They all make it look so easy on the runway, which is the whole point his supposes. He feels bad for not really knowing before and Jared reminds him of something he’d apparently said earlier on.

“You said that, if I ever got fed up of it all that I should just quit and that you’d never judge me, and I always remembered that”.

“Well, I am always right,” Jensen says with a bashful shrug and Jared rolls his eyes.

“Modesty aside, it doesn’t matter what either us of us do now anyway,” he says in a carefree tone and Jensen snorts.

“Well not all of us are as rich as you, buddy, I still have to find myself a job and that’s if my bitch of an ex-boss hasn’t blacklisted me or something.”

“Maybe I can be your sugar daddy or something?” Jared jokes and Jensen responds with a wince.

“Please never repeat those words again,” he says as he shifts closer to Jared and allows his warmth to seep into him. And as Jared cackles gleefully, he realises that he’d happily spend the rest of his life in Jared’s arms.

He promises to do the best he can to make sure that he does.

_**Fin** _


End file.
